Observation Area, Very Late at Night

The trouble with shadowing the station Commander to avoid being alone was that eventually the station Commander had to go do other things, things that propriety and professionalism and even adulthood dictated T'Pren could not join or watch.

She was unfit for duty for the rest of the day, although she was desperate for something to keep her busy, and she didn't trust herself at all to go to a bar or a restaurant or anything public that may involve inebriation. There was nothing left to do but to go to the Infirmary. While Regan was seeing to her sprained wrist and the worsening bruise on her jawline, T'Pren casually dropped into conversation that, oh, hey, apparently her fathers were alive, but she didn't want to talk about it. Dr. Ozan knew better than to press. T'Pren left with a little something to help her sleep.

She spent the rest of the day passed out in a fetal position on the previously unused bed in her quarters, the lights all out and the iridescent fabric that made up her covers pulled over her head. The half-Vulcan slept for hours, as if trying to make up for all the rest she'd lost since first arriving at DS15 less than a week ago. When T'Pren finally woke up and was not able to fall back asleep, she took a sonic shower, put on her little blue dress from Lorelei's debut, picked up her dad's guitar, and crept through the station so as not to disturb the residents and crew members who were not up in the impossible hours of what in Federation-run space counted as night.

The half-Vulcan didn't stop until she reached the dark and deserted observation area. She'd thought about playing privately in her room if she was going to play at all, but the thought of the Cardassian popping in unannounced to hear her making music on her father's guitar and singing her father's songs was far more traumatizing than having been naked before him. So she was here, before a wall that looked out entirely at the endless expanse of stars, where she thought she might best be left alone and not wake anyone.

T'Pren settled down on a bench looking out over the void, kicked off her shoes, and carefully, gently, lovingly unbuckled the guitar case. Her face burned hot and nausea swept through her, but she did not cry or smile or make any expression at all. She simply settled the instrument familiarly across her lap, twanging a few chords as she tuned it.

Her hair hung loose about her face, but she tucked it behind one ear to keep it out of her eyes.

And then, with a few testing plucks of a string and a far-off stare, the young lieutenant began to softly play and sing. Her voice was pure and unaffected, her song an old one from Earth, sweet and light and warm.

The soft, lilting strains of music strayed through his ears, cupped his face, and led him by the chin through the Promenade. Nothing touched his heart more than to hear music in his station. To him, music was an ultimate sign of life, of thriving, in the place he was charged to command.
When he spied the Lieutenant, in that fetching shade of blue, sitting on the observation deck, he lingered back a few steps, hoping she wouldn't notice him. He knew as soon as she saw him, she'd be all aglow in a dozen shades of green.

It wasn't necessarily that T'Pren didn't notice the Commander's approach -- she had inherited the Vulcan sense of hearing and she knew those gentle but heavy-hearted footsteps by now -- but rather that she chose both consciously and subconsciously to let him listen. Or at least chose not to stop.

The young lieutenant would never be Lorelei, but the lark-like quality to her voice suited her perfectly, as did the simplicity of the song and her thoughtful plucking.

Her emotional life was distant and strangely serene, though she carefully avoided any trace of hope and most of what she must have been feeling was locked away indefinitely in a bunker of her own making. But her spirit was quiet and warm.

"Upspoke, upspoke that mockingbird
Upon a willow tree
Saying, 'You had a father in the mines
Who has gone this day from thee, thee
Who has gone this day from thee'..."

He sat on a bench facing away from her. Leaning back, he closed his eyes and drank in the notes.
Quietly losing himself, he leaned into his arm and rested. Hopefully, she wouldn't notice him at all, he thought.
When she stopped, he cleared this throat.

The song continued sorrowfully and soulfully for a few more short verses:

"Woe be, woe be, mockingbird,
Woe be, woe be to thee
I'll send an arrow through your heart
For to bring such news to me, me
For to bring such news to me

Upspoke, upspoke that mockingbird,
'Don't waste your time with me,
Go home and mind that pretty little girl
Her father no more to see, see
Her father no more to see'

She went home to her house that night
Her house so cold and mean
And she held her sister close to her side
And never more did sing, sing
And never more did sing."

T'Pren had planned to let the last word hang in the air for a while before getting around to telling Rai she knew he was there, but when he cleared his throat, she gave a hint of a smile.

"It's okay," she said to the window. "I heard you come in."

"I thought I was being sly, but I suppose not," he said, smiling softly.
"I was afraid I'd never get to hear you play, I must be very lucky today," he said thoughtfully, "Where did you learn that one?"

"You were very sly," T'Pren promised with a smirk. She still didn't bother to turn away from the stars outside. "I'm just half-Vulcan."

Her fingers picked over the strings idly as she spoke. "My dad. They're almost all from him. From Earth, originally." The plucking turned into a strum. "Was I being too loud?" she wondered, and only then did she shift her body a little to look at the Commander. "I thought I wouldn't disturb anyone. I can go back to my quarters."

"Not at all, I like it, carry on. Commander's orders." He cocked his head back and set his chin in mock seriousness.
"Your father had good taste," he added, "And, so do you. You ought to wear blue more often when you're off duty, it suits you."

All those shades of green Rai had been expecting earlier bloomed across T'Pren's cheeks, although it was less visible in the dimly lit night time environmental settings. "I don't...own anything else nice besides my dress uniform. And it seemed like I ought to be wearing something nice," she explained, squirming just a little under the weight of the guitar.

She glanced down at the skirt of the dress and her very pale legs and bare feet and then at her father's name scratched into the side of the guitar. "I would hate to be insubordinate," she decided, soft but wry. "I don't think I know enough to take requests like Lorelei, but if you wanted...a mood or a subject, I could probably give you that much."

"Apprehension and hope. In that order," he said. He sat down beside her, and gazed out the observation deck windows, leaning forward and resting his head in his hands.
At that moment, he thought, he would like it to stay just like this for a little while longer.

For a moment, T'Pren hesitated, frowning in concentration as she thumbed through her mental catalog for just such a combination. "I think I know just the thing." She shifted back around so that she too could face the window again and gave a few chord strums while she made sure she knew how it began.

"But in exchange, you have to tell me why you're still awake at this hour."

The lieutenant didn't give the commander time to argue before beginning the intro of the song.

"Black clouds are behind me
I now can see ahead
Often I wonder why I try
Hoping for an end
Sorrow weighs my shoulders down
And trouble haunts my mind
But I know the present will not last
And tomorrow will be kinder

Tomorrow will be kinder
It's true, I've seen it before
A brighter day is coming my way
Yes, tomorrow will be kinder..."

In the interlude, something loosened inside T'Pren so that when she began to sing again, her voice was a little thicker and a rogue tear or two slid down her cheeks.

"Today I've cried a many tear
And pain is in my heart
Around me lies a somber scene
I don't know where to start
But I feel warmth on my skin
The stars have all aligned
The wind has blown but now I know
That tomorrow will be kinder

Tomorrow will be kinder
I know I've seen it before
A brighter day is coming my way
Yes, tomorrow will be kinder

A brighter day is coming my way
Yes, tomorrow will be kinder."

As she held the final slow notes, her hand rested against the strings to end their hum. Despite the words she'd sung, there was a heaviness and not a hope to T'Pren's emotional landscape.

He swallowed the lump in his throat harshly and sighed.
"That was lovely," he said solemnly. "Thank you for sharing it with me."
Remembering her stipulation, he opened up slightly. It felt so unseemly to be vulnerable before subordinates. Undignified even.
"Pre-promotion jitters. The Hipployta is a hell of a ship."

"It was one of my lullabies," T'Pren murmured, and the weight of the sentence forced her to really work for her next full breath. She gave Rai a small sideways smile. "Only on bad days, of course."

She studied him thoughtfully as he explained, searching his face to see if there was any trace of something besides the promotion even as she addressed it: "I read as much of your file as they'd allow before I chose this place. I even asked around about you. And now, after seeing the kind of man you are for myself as well..." Her smile sweetened with earnestness, "The Hippolyta will be getting a hell of a captain."

"Thank you for saying so. I hope to prove you right. I do wish that times didn't necessitate me gaining command over an overpowered war ship," he said, and chewed on his lower lip.
"Sometimes I like being up at this hour. I like to think of everyone, safe and asleep in their quarters. I listen to all the soft sounds of the station. This was a nice surprise."

The idea of Rai roaming the corridors watching over the sleeping residents of DS15 only encouraged T'Pren's warm and genuine smile. She took in the Betazoid now less with the appraisal of a new subordinate and more as one complete being learning about another.

"Just because the weapons are there doesn't mean we have to use them," T'Pren reminded the Commander in a gentle tone that allowed that he probably already was aware of that.

"That's the way I prefer it," he said, "but I can't help but feel like there's more to this. I hope it's just my imagination." He slouched beside her.
"Play me out, Lieutenant."

There were a dozen different ways for T'Pren to tell Rai that it wasn't his imagination; that she felt it too and that she was fairly certain Akhil was sensing something similar. Instead, before she decided what to play, the half-Vulcan reached over silently to place her hand on the back of his. Because telling someone about to become captain of a warship that you were almost positive the shadier parts of the galaxy were conspiring to put him in the middle of an armed conflict was probably not the wisest move.

So she picked a lighter song and took back her hand to begin the melody.

"I gave my love a cherry that had no stone
I gave my love a chicken that had no bone
I gave my love a story that had no end
I gave my love a baby with no cryin'

How can there be a cherry that has no stone?
How can there be a chicken that has no bone?
How can there be a story that has no end?
And how can there be a baby with no cryin'?

A cherry when it's blooming, it has no stone
A chicken when it's pippin', it has no bone
The story of how I love you, it has no end
A baby when it's sleepin', it's no cryin'."

He closed his eyes again, and drank in her sonorous tones. What a sad, chaotic young woman she was. So much to take on for someone so young.
"Lieutenant, I meant what I said when I suggested a concert. Someday I'm going to talk you into it."

T'Pren actually grinned at Rai, even as that mint green color returned to her cheeks. "You're welcome to try, sir."

After a moment, she admitted, "After Lorelei, I'm a poor substitute. People would riot. Besides, I'm not much of a performer." The young lieutenant hesitated and then added softly, "My dad was. People loved him." Her brows pulled down at that. Loved? Love? She stuck with past tense. "He was always the center of any group of people no matter where we went. I'm not particularly Vulcan, but I think I'm more like my father."

"From what you've told me about him so far, that doesn't seem like a bad thing at all," he said. "You could do worse. What are you doing, after this? Or will you stay here on the Promenade until you turn into a mournful, spacefaring ghost?"

"I was planning to sit here playing until I wasted away and then haunt the Promenade for all eternity," replied T'Pren without missing a beat, her expression very serious. "'Who's that singing?' little children will ask their parents. 'Ah,' the parents will say, 'that is the cautionary tale of T'Pren Inabnet, who looked into the abyss and let the abyss look back into her'."

She strummed something haunting for good measure.

"I can just see it now, your ghostly form appearing at these hours. During the day, you'd make frightening grimaces at people to make them drop their Breen ices. Your face would appear in the steam at the baths. Cheeky ghost," he said, playfully bumping her with his arm.

T'Pren's grin was slow and genuine. "If you say my name three times in your bathroom mirror, I appear in your quarters and play sad music that makes you cry yourself into a dehydrated death." She pressed her lips together with more mock-seriousness, nodding her approval of the plan. "It's terribly gruesome."

"I'd take that over being assassinated by my Romulan XO," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Well," T'Pren joked, although there was a certain twinge of anxiety about just such an occurrence that reared up inside her, "if it looks like she might be plotting against you, you know where to find me." She paused, laughed, and added awkwardly, "...Your bathroom."

Her smile slipped a little there, turning more legitimately concerned. The lieutenant plucked at her guitar strings as she thought. "Sir," she wondered hesitantly, "may I ask a potentially insubordinate question?"