Another Day, Another Drink

T'Pren blazed defiant again at that, steely and determined and fiery inside. "I've survived worse than this," she murmured darkly, maybe even a little affronted. "It's one thing to survive. It's another to live."

"From the looks of it, you're not exactly doing that, either," he said. "I need you to be in tact."

That struck T'Pren a little harder than she'd been expecting, leaving her surprised and subdued and introspective. Her gaze dropped to her lap where her brow furrowed and her lips rolled in against each other. All she really wanted was to get through the away mission. Then she could deal with the fallout. "It's the not knowing," she explained quietly. "Everything else, I could handle. But the not knowing..." A lump formed in her throat and her heart ached against her lower ribs.

The young lieutenant took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm not going to let you down. No matter what."

"I know you won't," he said. "I have so much faith in you." He let the noise of the bar pass between them. "Is this going to be your night then, cursing our new synthetic doctor?"

Warmth spread through T'Pren from eartip to toetip and fingertips in between. The look she gave Rai was loving and grateful and infinitely more emotionally available. Her heart still hurt, but she was clearly making an effort to stay present here with him now. "No," she sighed, offering another apologetic smile. "If you'll still have me, I'd like to spend the last quiet night on the station with my endlessly patient and compassionate Captain."

With a hidden smile, he side-eyed her again. The tension between them dissippatedm, as did the distance.
"Here I am, then What will we do?"

As the distance between them vanished, T'Pren's smile grew, a little emotional at its heart but awfully pleased to have won Rai back. And, really, to have won herself back. "Something we won't be able to do when the station is overflowing with ensigns," she suggested vaguely, brainstorming as she spoke. "But I suppose we're not completely alone on the station, so streaking probably isn't a very professional choice."

"It's not even the right time of year for that," he chuckled. "What else?"

"There's a right time of year for streaking?" T'Pren asked incredulously, completely bewildered and extremely amused. Her grin turned into a faux grimace as she tried to come up with something that wasn't sex. "There's always Marco Polo in the Jeffries Tubes...or we could sneak out in a runabout and pretend to be Captain Kirk and Spock...or we could get very drunk one last time until you decide what you want..."

"Yes, there's a right time, it isn't even midsummer yet. Let's get very drunk, and go to the holosuites again."

T'Pren grinned broadly at Rai. "You just want to go to the holosuites because you know I'd kick your ass at Marco Polo."

Since her cup was empty, she set it forward and waited for Falten to come back by. "Did you get started before you came down here again?"

"I started around lunch, thank you very much," he said. "That's not water in my mug at most meetings, you know." He didn't let her know that he was practically pickled on most days now, as the roaring telepathic din had to be kept at bay somehow.

That was more than a little worrying. T'Pren suppressed the urge to lean over and kiss Rai with concern and instead hailed Falten. "Two more Saurian brandies please." She sent Rai a sideways glance. "And a shot of single malt for me." Time to catch up to the alcoholic.

"I'm excited to see my station come alive tomorrow," he said. In his mind, it was not the Federation's station. It was his, and the new crew of fresh faced, hopeful cadets would be new, precious lives for him to protect. He thrilled at the new pressure.

New emotional cacophony to drink away on the daily.

T'Pren watched Rai with a fond upturn to her lips, and when the shot arrived, she tipped it up at him in salute. "To your station." She tossed it back expertly and shook her head a little as it went down, then tapped the glass on the counter.

After a brief hesitation, she ventured, "Are you positive you won't need me on duty tomorrow? It seems like a bad day for a mandatory absence."

"I've gotten by with much less," he said, reassuring her. "You're not getting out of it that easy, sorry."

Rather than make sad protest noises and faces, T'Pren picked up her Saurian brandy and took an overly aloof sip. "I wasn't trying to get out of anything," she answered innocently. "I was just worried about you."

"Thank you for your concern," he smiled flirtatiously. "Is that all that's bothering you? Just our Doctor?"

T'Pren's poor little Vulcan heart fluttered against her ribs at Rai's smile and she returned it with a slightly shyer one of her own and a little extra green in her cheeks. As he brought the conversation back around to her feelings, though, she lifted one brow at him dryly. "Are you sure you want to get into it? I'm an emotional minefield." Her smile softened. "Anyway, you know the basics of everything. And I'm happy for Regan...that's the kind of thing she loves to do. But I'm not happy to see her go."

"None of us are, but this is what she wants," he said. It was disingenuous, as he had never particularly cared for the doctor, but he wasn't about to speak poorly of her friend. Truthfully, he already rather preferred the new robotic doctor.

And then, because while T'Pren was sad to see her best friend go, it was hardly one of the more pressing things bothering her, she suddenly blurted, "What if they're not there?" Her green eyes hooked on Rai's dark ones with intense need. "What if we get there and they've just died? Or what if something happened and they don't remember me? What if they have another family and there's no place for me in it? What if they don't want me?" Her heart was pounding now and her breathing became a little labored. The half-Vulcan threw back most of her brandy.

"There are so many things out there in the abyss of space that we cannot control. I will personally do everything I can to get them back here, alive. I don't believe anyone could actually forget their daughter, though. I'm sure they've never stopped thinking about you. If I were them, I know I wouldn't," he said. Suddenly finding himself occupying a paternal space, he felt a pang of guilt now for having slept with Inabnet at all.

T'Pren was frowning hard at her cup as she tried to rein in her heart and calm her breath. "I'm not sure what I hope we find when we get there," she confessed, guilty and slightly miserable. "Which is absurd because I can't remember a time since I saw the Patchwork blow that I didn't fantasize we'd find each other."

"Is it so bad really, to let yourself hope for the best in this one case? I know it's not what you're accustomed to doing, but just this once, what if you find them, and they're fine?" he asked. "It is just as possible that they've spent the whole time thinking of you."

When T'Pren looked up at Rai, it was with a bone-deep ache for the ability to have that kind of hope, great affection for the man beside her, and a heavy sadness. "Because if I let myself hope," she murmured earnestly, "and I get disappointed...I really don't think I would survive it."